On the Internet there is enough information and instructions on how to get to know correctly on the Internet, how to fill out a form, on which sites. In my article, I would like to highlight another context of this issue.
About how our beliefs, unknown to us, govern our life and relationships. And, in particular, they prevent us from using the modern achievement of technological progress - a resource for acquaintance - a site.
During the practical work, interesting observations from experience with clients have accumulated, I decided to share with you.
To start, I will list the reviews:
- a dating site is a waste of time, it’s impossible to meet normal people there,
- there are only sexually preoccupied
- some youngsters write
- oh, went on a few dates - no use
- I found on my husband’s site
- I won’t go down to “this”,
- get acquainted on the site? THIS was still missing.
- what I wanted, then I got ... so what?
Perhaps these are the most common reviews.
Since I specialize in the topic of relationships, women often turn to me with a question about the structure of their personal lives. And, perhaps, one of the first questions is where to get to know a man?
And after my offer to register on a dating site, the following happens.
Mary's story (customer names changed).
Maria, a 26-year-old girl, is pretty, slender, with higher education, with experience of living in America, from a wealthy family.
- What are you? This is a shame for me! This means declaring openly that I want a relationship! That I don’t have a man now! Nooo!
- It turns out that you want to build a relationship, but no one should guess about it?
After such a question, Mary smiled, thoughtful, and answered:
- It turns out so.
For family reasons, the girl lives outside the city, in a small village, where her social circle is limited to relatives and subordinates. He rarely visits the city, mainly on business. She dresses comfortably, "broadcasting" that she is business, serious, busy, unisex. Pants, often jeans, long hair are gathered in a bun. Her appearance says: "I'm not men, not interested."
After the first consultation, I agreed to register to start VKontakte.
As further consultations showed, the girl has not only a ban on dating on the site, but also on dating in general. And it turns out that the site itself has nothing to do with it.
Ksyusha's story (29 years old, slim, beautiful).
- I met, the relationship began, but then they threw me. Conclusion - there are no reliable men on the site.
- Ksyusha, did you get such a relationship only after Internet dating?
- No, and after real acquaintances it was the same.
In working with a client, her personal story became clear. She did not see her dad, with her mother they broke up immediately after the birth of Ksenia. And from childhood, she developed an unconscious attitude: men are those who abandon women.
In life, she unconsciously attracted to such men who initially did not need a serious relationship. Or in the process of a relationship, she exhausted a man with her suspicions, fears, control, and claims so that as a result, he was bored, and he abandoned her.
After a course of consultations, the girl changed her attitude towards men, and she currently has relationships in which preparations for the wedding are already underway.
History of Olga (44 years old, outwardly groomed, youthful, looks 34 years old).
After a divorce, after 3 months I decided to get acquainted with men to create a serious relationship.
- Oh, there’s nothing good to find on this site, some youngsters write.
- Youngsters - who is this in your understanding?
- Well, 28-30 year old guys write ... Why do I need them?
“But these are far from youngsters, these are young men.”
- Yes? :))
- And to be honest, Olga, what do you really want now? Do you want to build a new serious relationship?
- You know, to be honest, I just want to talk, have fun with young cheerful guys.
- So, it turns out they are writing to you? :))
- It turns out that I am deceiving myself, I am saying one thing, but I want another. I have not rested yet from marriage, that I would again want to go there.
- It turns out that your true desire is being fulfilled?
- It turns out so.
At the moment she has an affair with a man of 32 years (1 year after the divorce, not ready for a serious relationship). They are both happy and happy.
Katie's story (48 years old, divorced 5 years, 2 children).
My training “How to get married” was held, where we analyze in detail the desired image of a man. Women make up his portrait, which Katerina did as well. In short, she wanted a wealthy wealthy man with a country house.
With this she met on a dating site. Relationships started, there was talk of moving to live with him. She herself lives in Moscow, and he is in the suburbs of Moscow.
She came to the consultation in a dismal state with the question "What to do?"
- Everything happened the way I wanted (I met the man I wanted), but I'm not happy about that.
- Because of which?
- Yes, there is a man with whom I feel good, he is wealthy, he has a beautiful country house, but now one circumstance confuses me. He often wants sex. They told me that on the site with a normal guy you will not meet. Some maniac turned out to be ...
After a detailed conversation, it turned out that her marriage ended for the same reason: a man needed sex, but she did not.
"Maniac from the site" turned out to be an ordinary man, and Olga revealed a child's installation, because of which she had sex only before the birth of children, or rather, for the sake of giving birth to children. And then sex turned into torture for her, and she avoided him in every possible way.
After working out the child’s restrictions, Olga’s attitude towards sex gradually began to change, and the maniac turned out to be an attentive, affectionate, active man in bed.
Nadezhda (53 years old).
At 50, her husband left her. Having evicted her from an apartment to which she has legal rights (unfortunately, this also happens).
My Nadezhda passed the training “Kama Sutra of Relations” on how to build harmonious happy relationships. Of the 12 participants, she was the oldest.
Even during the training, she registered on several dating sites (including paid ones), and began to actively get acquainted, communicate and meet with men.
As a result, she met a man from another city, for the first meeting she went there herself, then they began to communicate on Skype and come to visit each other. As a result, Nadezhda married her chosen one, and they went to live in Kaliningrad.
If we return to the participants of the training, Nadezhda was the first after the training to start building relationships, compared to younger and more attractive participants. And the first received a marriage proposal. This is for those who still believe that only young people have a chance for personal happiness.
The format of the article limits the volume, and here I have described only a few stories from client practice. But I think this is enough to confirm that "Whoever believes in what he receives." Or, in the words of the Bible, "By your faith it will be given to you."
And only you can choose what to believe.
Or that which limits you - or that which opens before you new opportunities and horizons!
And if you have negative experience on a dating site, look what your conviction worked in this case. Or come to me for a free consultation on Skype, I will be happy to help you remove it.
1. Permanent email verification
In 2013, 32% of US employees said they respond to emails within 15 minutes of receipt. Another 23% within 30 minutes.
Constantly checking email costs us tons of precious time, but we can control it! Create a new habit: turn off the notification of new letters while you are working on an important project or check for new messages only twice a day.
You will save time and do much more work.
2. The expectation that everything will be perfect
Sad reality: perfectionism can paralyze you. Instead of completing assignments efficiently, you end up spending a huge amount of time trying to perfect things that are simply an intermediate step in success. This stealing habit may be a sign of reluctance to take new steps towards the goal. Better do "good" rather than "perfect" and move on.
3. Multitasking
It makes you less productive. Your brain can only focus on one thing at a time, and constantly switching to different tasks, retrains your brain to not focus on anything. If you find that you are switching between tasks and cannot stop at one thing, understand that you are harming your productivity and wasting time. Instead, focus on one task for a certain period of time before moving on to the next.
4. Frequent breaks
Do you tend to be constantly distracted by work? One study found that workers were interrupted every 11 minutes. No wonder we can do nothing! Do not let people distract you with letters, calls, when trying to focus on something else.
This will help you focus and teach you how to eliminate distractions. Try to put the status "busy", close the door, put on silent mode mobile.
5. Disorganization
The habit of working in disorganized chaos is also a major waste of time. The constant loss of important documents, repeated requests for key information, and the inability to complete the task until the last minute - all this is a huge waste of time. Do the cleaning on the table, in the computer, systematically arrange the documents.
6. Inability to delegate
Many people want to do everything themselves, but failure to delegate authority can have unpleasant consequences. It is a waste of time to do things in which you are not a pro. Instead, delegate these tasks to others - to someone from the team, assistant or virtual assistant - and focus on the responsibilities and projects that are part of your line of business.
7. Never say no
Inability to say no affects the effectiveness of your key projects. Either you need to say no to an additional work assignment, or to unproductive personal activities, it is important to establish clear boundaries. Focus on ensuring that vital projects are completed during the working day, and then relax in your free time.
And how do you remove from life what is wasting time? Share in the comments!
Pavlovskaya Ekaterina Ivanovna
Psychologist, Psychoanalyst. Specialist from the site b17.ru
Who is lucky. Who has what requests, expectations. How can one-way answer. There are the same people you see on the street. And the problem with people is that they do not know how and do not want to have what they are capable of. That is have an overestimated rather than an objective assessment of oneself.
Well, who can praise this? There is one rabble - security guards, builders, movers, drivers, the unemployed, prisoners, crazy, disabled and married.
At the beginning of 2015, I met a guy. We were 27 years old. At the end of the year they got married. But I’ve been sitting on these sites since 20 years, with different goals. I was experienced in this matter. When she wanted to find her husband, she quickly found. And I really liked him. Planet Fishing Site.
Well, who can praise this? There is one rabble - security guards, builders, movers, drivers, the unemployed, prisoners, crazy, disabled and married.
Well, who can praise this? There is one rabble - security guards, builders, movers, drivers, the unemployed, prisoners, crazy, disabled and married.
And many more Ms in the NW believe that the girls sitting there are only for frivolous relationships. What type *** will be looking for a wife in the NW? Although, I only heard this on ABF and masculists
Related topics
Not a single successful man with a healthy psyche will sit in the northwest. These are either married women or perverts, psychotic sadists. A normal man, if, after breaking up with his girlfriend, he will register for SZ - he will run away from there in a week. And the geeks have been sitting there for years.
Dating sites are mainly designed for divorce suckers and sawing dough. Like dating groups on social networks. There are almost no girls there. Real ones.
At the beginning of 2015, I met a guy. We were 27 years old. At the end of the year they got married. But I’ve been sitting on these sites since 20 years, with different goals. I was experienced in this matter. When she wanted to find her husband, she quickly found. And I really liked him. Planet Fishing Site.
And describe your husband - did he have his own w / n, good income?
Earnings average / above average for Moscow. There was no railway station. Car. He works in the field of car service, plus a bunch of his clients. Courted, gentle, caring, handsome, did not immediately call to bed. But my income is much less, also did not have my own w / n. Now we have a common w / n in the mortgage, we have a son. Life in half, even more on it
Well, who can praise this? There is one rabble - security guards, builders, movers, drivers, the unemployed, prisoners, crazy, disabled and married.
Again, the whole bazaar rests against you, but how much you earn, etc. Salvage is not the main thing in life!
On this topic! I used dating sites for more than 1 year (it was registered on about 5 sites), a very large number of fakes and liars, although there were also girls' norms, about men it is known that there are a huge number of perversions who send photos of their bodies (the girls themselves told me about this) in As a result, over time I retired.
Why are you all rushing to Moscow, village? What a city they turned into!
NW is a waste of time if you sit passively and wait for someone to write. They will write sooo much! It will take a hundred years to rake
NW is a waste of time if you sit passively and wait for someone to write.
There is a crooked snout that is useless to anyone. Pi dory. And the processes with x we, and without money. Waiting for a carriage with a beautiful bride, who will gasp and provide him.
As you know, buggers are very annoying hetero-men, this is largely due to the fact that buggers are looking for yobyry. In search of a yobyr, pederasts are very active - go to clubs, hang out on the Internet, pester strangers. When the buggers do not find a yobyr, they are very dangerous - they can attack hetero-men and take revenge on everyone. Young people are especially dangerous, pederasts play hormones ”and blows the roof.
And does a female strategy of behavior with men involve any actions? ))) Sitting on the shraki straight and waiting for the weather by the sea - this is our feminine everything.
Is the princess caught? We rode away from here, my wry-weed.
Quasimodo sits on a dating site, draws his smelly horseradish, and waits for the beauty to appreciate the quasimodo, and take everything into her own hands. But while women, you want to fuck you.
It's a shame yes.
Well, yes. Therefore, the prince is not caught
Rozhzha on duty to fuck!
*** change to *** - waste time for nothing.
What a fuck! Well done. Rožszhaa
Or maybe the time has not come to find your man? After all, everyone has their own destiny. I also could not find for a long time and already despaired of how they advised me to turn to one woman. She is a very good astrologer. She made my map and told everything about me, about my life, karma, what kind of man I need. This helped me figure everything out and wait for my man. Now I am married and happy. I also advise you to contact her. You will learn everything about yourself and you will know how to live further and which man to look for. Email her [email protected]
What are you saying)) But I’m just reading the complaints of men from the North-West, that the women are taking the initiative)) but they’re not as they should be. work, but for some reason you write fat saleswoman fives
In most cases, yes, a waste of time. Of course, you can find adequate people, but you will have to spend 100500 dates in order to find a normal person.
In most cases, yes, a waste of time.Of course, you can find adequate people, but you will have to spend 100500 dates in order to find a normal person.
In NW you can meet such “miracles” that you will never meet in life. I am a man. In his youth, he was registered in SZ. One of the jokes: the girl’s profile - 29 years old, writes: "I am looking for a husband who will take me and his daughter under his wing." I ask: how old is my daughter? Answer: 10 months (Carl, 10 months.). That is, you take a 29-year-old girl with a strange child and keep her in maternity for more than two years. This is not a deer, but a shame!
We need to at least not be afraid of fat. But there are none
Why are you all rushing to Moscow, village? What a city they turned into!
NW is a waste of time if you sit passively and wait for someone to write. They will write sooo much! It will take a hundred years to rake
In most cases, yes, a waste of time. Of course, you can find adequate people, but you will have to spend 100500 dates in order to find a normal person.
There are plenty of them there, only they won’t write to you, because you’ll write to them right away, you’ll come and visit us to drink vodka
I live in a big city, and the contingent on dating sites does not change. Only peasants age, but every year their age on the site decreases. ))) If the sympathy on the tinder or bad coincides - they still do not write. Why are these sites so praised? Wash a waste of time.
So what's the problem? After that, immediately turn off communication, and write to the next.
Well, look elsewhere! Straight enrage such loners! They sit alone and sites are not an option for them.
I found my husband on a dating site. Yes, I had to look for more than a year and a lot of time to spend on these dates and correspondence. But I knew what kind of man I needed! I found exactly what I was looking for. Although, all the girlfriends laughed at me, but now they envy me, because I live an order of magnitude better)
Good day!
I am looking for a girlfriend from 42-54 years old, living in the Central Administrative District, South-Western Administrative Okrug, Southern Administrative Okrug, unmarried, without children with common interests, such as:
walks in beautiful parks, visiting museums and exhibitions, light sports, sharing knowledge in the fields of photography, cooking, needlework, gardening, warm conversations and getting life advice.
I expect and offer positive friendly communication on weekends without alcohol and smoking, without material and housing problems and troubles.
A small correspondence is possible and exchange of photos is desirable.
I wouldn’t say that it’s a waste, I had two cases of relationships after meeting on the Internet, in general I’m normal guys, I just quickly exhausted myself because of a lack of common interests, the difference in temperaments and goals in life, we broke up without scandals, with one I’m still friends, but be prepared for the fact that the main contingent is men without education, beggars, but wishing to raise themselves at the expense of women, many unemployed and drinkers, there are frank psychos
I live in a big city, and the contingent on dating sites does not change. Only peasants age, but every year their age on the site decreases. ))) If the sympathy on the tinder or bad coincides - they still do not write. Why are these sites so praised? Wash a waste of time.
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