July 1, 2015 at 12:36
They say that every year people are becoming angrier and angrier. In the world there are many quarrels, disagreements, emotions sweep over the edge. But why does this happen? Next, we will try to answer the question of why people are angry and how to get rid of anger. You will find out the opinion of the psychologist about this and will be able to understand the reasons for your anger.
What is anger and why are people angry
If you want to get rid of anger, pay attention to yourself from the very beginning. No need to say that your neighbor is angry or familiar. Examine yourself, perhaps it is all up to you. Ask yourself the following question: why am I angry? and am I angry at all?
If I am often angry, I show aggression towards others, it is worth considering, maybe something is wrong in my personal life. Perhaps you need rest, vacation, you need to relax or something like that.
Anger as a response
After you understand yourself, you can think about what other people do not like, in fact, why people are angry. Often people show aggression as a response to actions from others. For example, they are unhappy with what their family, friends or relatives do. From this there is discontent and anger.
Anger as an indicator of strength
To get rid of anger, keep in mind that some people are angry only because they want to show their superiority over another person. They believe that if they show anger, the interlocutor will then be afraid and respect them. Such anger can arise from the boss to the subordinate, the elders to the younger, etc.
Alcohol as a source of anger
The indisputable fact is that alcohol can cause a large amount of anger in any person. Often, the kindest people after drinking alcohol become aggressive. But even if they are not evil while taking alcohol, this does not mitigate its effect. Brain cells gradually die, and over time, a person loses his values, becomes angry and dissatisfied with everything.
Remember that all people have something good. Even the most inveterate criminals were once good people. Something influenced their life, some circumstances changed it. And after that, such people began to show anger and aggression. Do not be such people.
If you want to get rid of anger, always set yourself up for positive emotions. Examine yourself constantly, look deep into your heart. Try to forgive people, even those who have done something bad to you. Show strength not by anger, but by your character. And then you will see how your life will be transformed, how many more new and bright moments it will present to you.
5 tips for getting rid of anger
Often, many do not even know how to get rid of anger, but it can appear quite unexpectedly, whether it be an injury or a loss. In most cases, you will be able to hide your feelings. However, one should expect the arrival of negative emotions that will not pass by themselves. In this condition, you can, if you wish, make others guilty of anything, not paying attention to the fact that they are not guilty of this. Psychologists describe this state as a movement of anger.
Also, a feeling of anger can affect a person both emotionally and physically. Anger can even be recognized when talking to someone or when physical activity is applied to the body. The most effective way to get rid of anger is to play sports, as there is a decrease in muscle tension.
It also happens that the feeling of anger gradually increases, and at some point you can no longer cope with it. It can also cause you to become unwell and develop depression. This article will help you answer this question: "How to get rid of anger?". It will also give some useful tips on this topic.
For starters, you just need to realize that you have a feeling of anger. A clear understanding of your problem often becomes the reason for its solution,
To get rid of anger,> try to find an interlocutor who understands you, to whom there is trust. When talking with him, you will have the opportunity to understand what you currently feel,
Try to chat with yourself without too much embarrassment. For these purposes, even a tape recorder or a player that can record the entire dialogue is perfect. After that, you will have the opportunity to hear your feelings that seem alien, not yours. Like it was a completely different person
Try to make a clear list of your feelings on a piece of paper. It should also indicate what bothers you the most. After that, you will have the opportunity to indicate ways to influence what you would like to change.
Try to identify those things that you cannot change. A simple list of them is a very useful thing. To get rid of anger, occasionally remind yourself that there are things that go beyond your control. At first, it is very difficult to realize, but with the daily repetition of this information, it begins to become familiar.
How to stop getting angry
There is a famous Taoist parable. Telling his grandson about good and evil, the wise old man said: “Inside each of us, two wolves constantly fight, black and white. White is tenderness and kindness, sympathy and compassion, and black is anger and irritation, anger and aggression. ” “And which wolf is stronger?” The grandson asked. “Whoever we feed is stronger!” The old man answered.
Indeed, in order to calm irritability and anger, it is important to stop "feeding" the aggressive beast living inside us. But how to do this if circumstances and people around us provoke a negative reaction in our country? And attempts to drown out anger, endure, suppress aggression do even more harm. It is proved that those moments when we are fraught with anger, the amygdala, which is responsible for our emotions, begins to work in an enhanced mode, which over time leads to serious illness. How to act so as not to harm your health and at the same time maintain good relations with people around you?
1. Understand the reason
Initially, it should be understood that anger does not arise from scratch. She has a reason, finding which you can try to change the situation. To do this, try to listen to yourself. What exactly makes you angry? Perhaps the whole point is that your colleagues went on vacation, and that double burden fell on you? Are you angry at the bad grade your child brought from school? Or did your husband not notice and appreciate your new hairstyle?
Having understood the reason for your bad mood, it will be easier for you to cope with anger. Quite possibly, you just need to talk with the management about your vacation, help the child with his studies and give a hint to his beloved about his mistake, as soon as everything falls into place. At least this is much more productive than getting angry and scandalous.
2. Reassess the situation
According to psychologists, sometimes you need to look at the situation from a different angle in order to change your attitude towards it. Here is an eloquent example. The interlocutor screams at you without any reason. I really want to say nasty things in return, or even use my fists. But if you suddenly find out that this person lost someone close to him yesterday, survived a divorce, or lost his job? You must admit that you already treat a person with understanding, understanding that he speaks on emotions. His anger is no longer perceived so aggressively, rather, I want to sympathize with him.
But in fact, nothing has changed. Your view of the situation just changed, and anger disappeared with it. Try reassessing the situation in any conflicts they are trying to get you into. Just tell yourself: “I have absolutely nothing to do with it. It's just that a person has a hard day today! ”
What's the point?
Are you calm and relaxed now? Then think, and what good will give you rage or anger? Absolutely nothing but negativity, because at such moments it is bad not only for you, but also for other people. Especially unjustified anger and aggression can offend and hurt the people around you. Any negative emotions, if you keep them in yourself, will accumulate and thereby provoke serious consequences that can be expressed in diseases and disorders of the nervous system. So how to calm down and stop getting angry? Learning to do this is not even necessary for others, but primarily for yourself.
How to get rid of the negative?
How to stop getting angry and nervous? Every person who is not only busy with some activity, but at least leaves the house for some business, would not mind finding out the answer to this question. How to stop getting angry? Psychologists say that you can calm down even in 30 seconds. The question here is how to learn to control yourself so as not to get angry at all.
What needs to be done to stop being angry and offended?
The issue of anger and aggression has been studied by psychologists for more than one hundred years. That is why it is already possible to identify basic rules that will help to control yourself in the most unforeseen situations. How to stop getting mad at people?
- First you need to learn how to identify manifestations of anger at the right time. Thus, you can control not only yourself, but also the situation. It is much better if you come to your senses at the beginning of the conflict, which will help to cope with it, than in the middle or at the end.
- Conscious breathing has also not been canceled. Almost everyone knows about this rule, but for some reason no one uses it in practice. Therefore, as soon as you feel that an explosion is about to occur inside you, begin to breathe deeply, controlling every inhalation and exhalation. At the same time, count to 10.
- It would be nice to add affirmations to your life. They work very simply, at the moment when anger goes off scale, just repeat to yourself: “I only wish myself good, so why should I be angry? I feel calm and want to live in harmony with myself. " Take a deep breath, drink water, and you will feel how anger gradually recedes.
- Physical activity is the best friend not only in losing weight, but also in the process of controlling your emotions. It may seem strange, but try in a fit of anger to do exercises, go for a run, do the cleaning. Thus, you will switch your attention from emotions to physical activity and quickly forget that you were angry five minutes ago.
- Hit the pillow! Yes, no matter how funny it sounds, but sometimes you just need to let off steam. It’s good for those who have a punching bag for home, but the most ordinary pillow will be a worthy alternative. In Japan, for example, large offices are equipped with a special room with a mannequin of the boss, which can be boxed.
- Anger can also be expressed in creativity. Cool your ardor by drawing or writing a story, just take a piece of paper and depict or describe in words the emotions that overwhelm you.
- How to cheer yourself up in minutes and forget about negative emotions? Easy and simple - come off to the full! Turn on your favorite music at maximum volume, sing, dance, jump, fool around. In general, do not deny yourself the pleasure, and the mood will definitely be an order of magnitude higher.
- A contrast shower is the solution to all problems. Just imagine for a second that water can wash away all your anger, all negativity, resentment, bad mood. She will cleanse not only your body, but also your soul.
And do not forget to say “thank you” for having independently dealt with the negative and not splashed it out on others.
How to find the cause of anger?
It often happens that no exercises are needed at all to cope with the negative. It is enough to identify the cause of anger, thanks to this you can get rid of negative emotions. If identifying the cause alone is not enough, you should find an opportunity to eliminate this cause and open yourself to positive emotions. The most important thing is to identify the problem as quickly as possible in order to immediately solve what is disturbing. If this is not done, you will simply continue to be angry, not even realizing that the reason can be completely meaningless. This is the first step towards stopping getting angry and annoyed.
Found a reason? Let's think logically
If the cause of the anger is revealed, and this is not just a momentary weakness, you will have to ask yourself the right questions to find your own way to solve the problem. Psychologists have long discovered that anger is an emotional mindset that most often makes no sense, but it can play a big role in our lives. All you need to do in order to solve the problem is to start thinking, not emotionally, but logically. To do this, one must learn to control emotions. For example, count slowly to 100 or more if the level of malice exceeds all boundaries. Psychologists advise to count slowly and out loud for greater efficiency. This method really helps many cope with bouts of anger. There are a huge number of such methods and exercises, and everyone will be able to find something that will help him.
Smile
Even when you want to ruin everything around, just start smiling. Everything is simple here, we are used to smiling at the moment when everything is fine, when we are happy or just in a good mood. Even if you start smiling through strength, it will quickly and painlessly change your negative state to a positive one. Scientists have proven that laughter and a smile help to cope with problems faster, as well as solve serious problems and achieve great goals. Give a smile to others, and she will come back to you more than once.
Happiness is at work
Absolutely, every person wants to live in peace and harmony. And in order to live happily, you need to look for happiness in the right direction. You must realize that luck is your favorite job, it is a healthy family and you yourself. The simplest example is this: in the pursuit of wealth, a person loses family, friends, and eventually achieves his goal, but remains completely unhappy. Of course, everyone has their own concept of happiness. Only you can give the right answer. Do not try to prove anything to anyone, live and think that you are already happy, because of this the world around you will be built accordingly, and anger will not be in your life.
5. Distract yourself
As a rule, when we feel anger boiling inside, we ourselves begin to “add fuel to the fire” - we recall previous grievances, complain to others, expect sympathy, and, in general, inflame ourselves even more. But this is an absolutely destructive approach.
All you need at this moment is to be distracted, turn your attention, taking yourself into something. The best option for this is work. If you have a conflict with your boss or work colleague, clean the office. This will allow you to cool down a bit, and cleaning the workplace will only benefit. When the family spoiled the mood, start a general cleaning in the house, go knock out the carpets, clean the pans to a shine, or start a flower transplant. If possible, do the work to your favorite music. You won’t even notice how in the place of irritation and aggression comes positive and peace.
6. Take a sobering shower
Often, anger comes over us at a time when we are alone. This situation is much better, because while there is no object nearby where you can throw out all your negativity, there is an opportunity to analyze everything and calm down. If you are at home, the best way to calm down is to take a sobering shower.Cold jets of water will quickly invigorate you and make your brain work even more actively. You will be surprised, but you will leave the bath in a completely different frame of mind.
If anger has rolled over you at the moment when you are at work, use the washbasin. Rinse your hot face with ice water and the aggression that bound you will begin to leave. And if you are afraid to wash off your makeup, simply put your hands under ice water, hold for a couple of minutes, and then rub your temples with cold fingers.
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7. Remember something nice
Disruptions occur in every person. Sometimes it’s enough to be late for the bus, getting stuck in traffic, losing gloves, or just feeling tired after hard work. But is it worth it to spoil your nerves and get angry with others? Just imagine, if you appear at home in such a stressful state, it will certainly end in a conflict with households, or your loved ones will scatter into their rooms, just not to get caught in the "hot hand". Do you really want this?
To calm your anger, calm down and relax, cut five minutes for relaxation. Take your mobile phone and browse photos with your loved ones. Look at these happy faces, remembering the joyful moments of your life, and after a couple of minutes from your aggression there will be no trace.
8. Tune in to positive
If the previous tips do not help or are not feasible for a number of reasons, just try to reverse your evil thinking and set yourself up for positive. Remember, if you think that everything is bad, that the trouble that happened is the worst that could happen, that's how it will be! But if you tell yourself that the fatigue will pass, instead of the lost gloves you can always buy new ones, and the boss will understand that he was wrong and will definitely write a bonus, your condition will normalize right there.
In moments of irritation, anger and resentment, it is important to realize that the problem that appears is just a grain of sand, which you won’t even remember in a few days. So is it worth it to spoil the nerves, focusing on it? Better think about how positive your life is filled - your loved ones are healthy, you have a wonderful family, a decent job, you are loved, appreciated and respected! What else is needed for complete happiness?
With such a powerful wave of positive you will wash away all the negative emotions that prevent you from living in harmony with the environment and yourself. And if you use the proposed methods for eliminating anger constantly, anger and irritation will forget the way to your heart.
Love and peace to you!
