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Hello. Polina. It’s best to treat porn as a magazine. Indeed, you can also have beautiful clothes, be in it and sit at the same time watching an interesting fashion magazine. That is, there is a curiosity to learn more and see in new perspectives. The same thing happens with her husband. Perhaps he presents himself in more extreme forms, which he cannot afford to do with you. There are no limits to human imagination. This does not interfere with your relationship. And it is important to learn to relate to it autonomously, independently , as to turning over a magazine. A, esl and if you flip together, I think you will learn a lot about his addictions and something will change in bed. Therefore, find compromises and live in peace.
Karataev Vladimir Ivanovich, psychotherapist-psychoanalyst Volgograd
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Kupreikina Julia Vasilievna
Psychologist Omsk Was online: July 10
Answers on the site: 66 Conducts of trainings: 9 Publications: 85
Passion for pornography is normal, except in rare cases when it becomes addictive and a person ceases to communicate, go to work in order to watch pornography. Treat this as a hobby. Husband is driven by interest, nothing more.
If this does not interfere with your life together, learn to take it calmly without having to monitor and search for evidence.
If this behavior of your husband offends, humiliates and offends you, you can open your feelings to him. But it’s better to understand yourself and answer the question - WHY does it hurt me so much? I repeat that looking at pornography, your husband does not want to offend you, he is just interested.
Wish you luck!
Kupreikina Julia, psychologist in Omsk
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3 explanations of what pornography is
- An image of an erotic nature (illustration, video) with the intention of arousing sexual desire. From Greekporno and graphos which literally means writing about prostitutes.
- Pornography is intellectual rape or debauchery.
- it prostitute risen from the underworld with the goal of catching a man in his nets, to destroy him as a person, making him his lover in hell.
Agree, all three options very accurately describe the significance of this addiction.
What harm does pornography bring?
A negative look at women. The problems with pornography are huge, especially for men. She changes their view of women, whom they begin to see in a negative light. Studies have shown that just two scenes viewed in one hour can change a man’s attitude to a woman.
For him, all women become prostitutes who, under certain circumstances, will do what he sees in a porn film. This is due to the fact that porn actresses are portrayed in the most humiliating, perverse and bestial ways.
Can you imagine how a husband will look at his wife or boyfriend at a girl after watching porn movies? Will he, firstly, try to realize what he saw on the screen, thinking that his wife / girl will like it? Secondly, will she begin to respect, value the dignity of her life partner, or suspect her, saying that all women are prostitutes?
Sexual dissatisfaction. Because of viewing any type of pornography, a person changes the idea of sexual relations between a man and a woman. He will inevitably begin to compare the body, genitals, the duration of intimate relationships with what he sees on the screen.
In addition, the look at the marriage partner is changing for the worse. He is no longer suitable as a sexual partner, because he is inferior in all respects to a porn film. As a result, it is a false conclusion that this is the cause of possible problems in sexual relations with a life partner.
Important to remember: By stimulating the brain by watching pornography, no number of women or men can ever satisfy the insatiable appetite porn addict.
Brain destruction. Access to endless, diverse pornography prompts the man to constantly search for the “ideal scene” in order to receive another “dose” of poison. This leads to overexcitation, overstrain of the brain, leading to the release of dopamine (doping) into the brain. Experiencing an orgasm, a man is in a pornographic high, which is akin to a drug high.
After such stimulations of the brain, the body simply turns off, the man for some time turns into a lazy, sluggish male, not having the desire to do something or get to work. Over time, from such stimulations, the brain is destroyed. This is clearly visible in this photo.
Pornography destroys marriage. Some say they use it to revitalize their married sex life. But watching pornography revitalizes sex life, just as hydrochloric acid revitalizes food. It always destroys marriage, depriving a couple of the sacred intimacy that they had previously experienced.
Viewing pornography can lead to erectile dysfunction. The scene that once satisfied does not satisfy, so the next scene should be even tougher. As a result, men (especially young guys) have problems with an erection, which is impossible for them without watching another abomination.
Therefore, they are constantly looking for more disgusting and outrageous scenes to satisfy their “hunger”. What is the outcome? Sexually, these guys can’t do anything until they watch hardcore porn. Only then do they feel like men.
The emergence of porn addiction. The harm of pornography is that it causes a person to quickly get used to it - porn addiction. Some doctors compare its effects to those of a strong drug. For many, pornography has become so addictive that even the concept of a porn addict has appeared.
People who are addicted to viewing it, often without outside help, cannot get rid of their addiction. Hiding their addiction, year after year, they are trying to end this "vile" habit, but to no avail. Therefore, many addicted people suffer from depression, nervousness, loneliness, feel shame, despair, anger.
Porn addiction steals testosterone, male strength, energy, the desire to strive for success. She develops a man’s dirty masturbation habit, and some discourage the desire for family intimate relationships.
Negative influence of pornography. Like other media, pornography can affect the perception and look of a person: his attitude to the opposite sex, sensuality, marital relations, and is also able to normalize perverted sex.
Aggression, violence is a common occurrence of pornography, where the vast majority of targets are women. As a rule, aggression is associated with pleasure, and racist themes are often presented as normal. Most maniacs are people who are addicted to watching pornography.
Data on the harms of porn addiction
- Pornography has a negative effect on the emotional, mental health of children who secretly watch it from their parents.
- Reduces sexual satisfaction.
- Reduces viewer sensitivity by increasing appetite for more deviant, weird, or violent forms of pornography.
- Pornographic photographs hit the brain like a virus, which is then impossible to get rid of throughout life. It is impossible to erase them from memory.
- Awakens sexual aggression, craving for sexual violence, rape.
- May lead to sexual objectification of the weaker sex (obsessive fetishes of body parts or ranking women in size and shape).
- Increases sexual callousness towards women. A woman is considered only as an object of sexual satisfaction, who likes violence, perversion or cruelty.
- May cause a manic craving for killing.
Agree, the arguments discussed, showing how much harm is done to a person from watching pornography, are a compelling reason to refuse to watch it.
Pornography is not new. The image of her public reproduction has become new. The walls behind which it was hidden from the public eye began to crumble in the 1960s, when Denmark, as the first country, repealed the pornography law. Since then, she, like pus that oozes from an infected abscess, spreads her shameful stain all over the world. Therefore, it is worth knowing how to deal with it.
How to stop watching porn
Install the porn filter on your computer. He will block pornography so that there is no temptation to watch it on the Internet. Make sure that you do not have access to a password that you try to forget or give to friends, throw it away.
Get rid of all objects, even remotely related to pornography. There should not be anything that could become a source of temptation that provoked people to visit porn sites or rent discs.
Learn to switch thoughts - one of the best ways to keep yourself in check. Stop feeding your lust while thinking about pornography. The more you feed her, the more difficult it is to break up with her and get rid of temptations. Think of something (not related to sex) that will help you escape from pornographic thoughts, for example, jogging, playing sports, playing with friends. Purpose: the mind must be redirected to other goals.
Analyze what exactly makes you want to watch porn movies: magazines, exciting TV shows, music, watching videos at night, or wandering around the Internet? Then try to consciously avoid these risk zones provoking the viewing of such scenes. Imagine that it’s a toilet bowl that people who visit the porn site are constantly lowered into. It is unlikely that you have a desire to constantly plunge there.
If you believe in God, pray for his help and the power to break with this addiction. Use all sources of power (not only physical but also spiritual) to break with this habit. Use your religious beliefs for your own interests - breaking free from the clutches of porn addiction, pleasing God with it.
Do not spend lonely nights wandering around on television, switching them from channel to channel. So, it's easy to break your promise not to watch pornography. So try to go to bed with all family members or early if you are single.
Try not to be alone in the room with a computer connected to the Internet. Place the computer in the sight of all family members or keep the door fully open while surfing the Internet. So, family members can notice what you are doing. This is an additional incentive to control your desires.
To stop watching pornography, set a clear schedule or plan for using the Internet. For example, how much time you will use it today, for what purpose you will be online. Having compiled a list on paper of those affairs that you plan to do, strictly following this list. Then turn off the computer, doing other things. Following this strict order, you can gradually accustom yourself to use the World Wide Web only for work.
Make a list of reasons why you want to get rid of porn addiction. Knowing your reasons and strong desire can be a good help in the fight against pornography. Write these reasons on a piece of paper, treating them every evening or morning as a reminder for yourself. Especially when you have a strong desire to watch pornography.
Ask for help. You may be ashamed of your addiction, so you give up the thought of help. Do you think you can handle it alone? Rarely does anyone succeed. When addiction has already appeared without the help of those you trust, you just can’t do it. It may be the most difficult for you to ask for such help, admitting that you have become addicted, but it will help get rid of porn addiction.
Take a look videowhere in 6 minutes you will learn additional tips.
What the statistics of porn shows
Consider some factors:
What do these statistics show? If there was a deadly virus similar to the influence or scale of pornography, the land would soon have remained uninhabited. In fact, pornography is worse than any epidemic, because society is not able to stop it or develop a vaccination against it with today's measures.
Why is there such a proliferation of pornography today
Due to the age-old law of supply and demand. One former French pornstar answered this question with the following words: “No matter how ordinary pornography is, it has a future because there is demand.” So, demand justifies the offer, which is spurred by advertising and promises huge profits.
For example, here’s what an ad promoting a pornographic movie was in one box:
- "Sex, corruption and perversion in the film, which, apparently, removed the devil».
- English newspaper DailyTelegraph reports: “It is worth recognizing the fact that“ porn movies ”make up almost the only flourishing industry in modern Britain. "
In some countries, pornography is still hidden, but still lucrative. In other countries, it is easily accessible to all people. Increasingly, detailed corrupted erotic scenes are described in novels, magazines, they can be seen on television, video, as something attractive, normal and natural. Unfortunately, because of this, people flock to watching porn on the Internet like flies rush to cow dung.
Final word
Today there is no criminal liability for the production and distribution of pornography, only administrative punishment. As for me, it’s time to make some amendments to the laws of countries that criminalize the manufacture of this poison.
It is more often to show and say what harm it does, what is dangerous and what responsibility exists for viewing it. I am sure that such measures will help many to get rid of addiction and view pornography.
